What song, you may ask? Well, here it is. Listen along as you ponder my latest ramblings.
As much as I think this is a very beautiful song, it's actually quite depressing. Maybe it's because I discovered it last summer when I constantly considered jumping off the nearest bridge, but who's really to say. Anyhow, that's not the point of this. (Yes, you may breathe a sigh of relief.)
In the middle there is a lovely little part, "I've been convincing myself that I'm worthwhile, because I'm worth what I'll convince myself to be." Oh great, you think. She's going to start blabbing about how it's hard to be confident and it's so easy to feel worthless blah, blah, blah. And you're RIGHT! That IS what I'm going to talk about. Except I'll do it with a little sass to keep you entertained.
While it's almost painfully cliche to say, it is extraordinarily normal to feel a little less than worthwhile. Although you can't see me right now, it took me about 2 minutes to type that sentence. Who likes to admit things like this? Apparently I do. Moving on. Being that this is a normal circumstance it begs to question why I'm even mentioning it. I'll tell you why. Because this is Sparkle, Sparkle, dangit, and I'm here to bring joy to your lives people! At least when I'm not feeling completely self-sympathetic. Now that we've established the given (ahh, math...) let's talk about some implications, shall we? Is this getting to sound too school-y? Kind of? OK.
Listen. Here are some things that I've discovered over my short but meaningful life so far. People aren't going to buy the self-deprication. Believe me, I've tried it. Don't act all distant and standoffish - you're just making relationships (of any kind) difficult for yourself. You must exude confidence in order to grow with others. And the only way to genuinely exude confidence is to genuinely believe that you are worth other people's time. Yes, this may take some convincing yourself that you aren't in the way, or bothering people, or holding them down. Perhaps the hardest part is convincing yourself to take the first step. No one wants to take the first step. I think our generation has mass paranoia of looking desperate or needy. But somebody has to do it! And if you feel worthwhile to yourself, you'll probably feel OK offering a little piece of your life to someone else.
I should take my own advice, I know that. But I still think it's good advice. And if you don't agree, that's fine, it's the internet, anything goes, bro. But if you do, maybe it's a good day to take a little risk. Or you can wait until tomorrow. Just know that your worth does not increase over time, so you might as well get on with it, no? Let me know how it goes.