Monday, January 24, 2011

Forget About Your Worst Dates.

And no, I'm not talking about dates you go on. Did I trick ya? Baha. I'm actually referring to dates of the year. (Is anyone else thinking about Miss Congeniality right now? "Describe your perfect date." "I would have to say April 24th, because it's not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket!") Anyways, I had an inspiring conversation right before lunch, and needed to quick share it before I get all cynical and start believing it wasn't important, as so often happens with my best conversations.

My boss was talking about his daughter, who died in a car accident a long time ago. She was killed by a drunk driver. I don't really know any of the details, but I can't imagine the pain that kind of tragedy would cause. And my boss told me that he remembered what it was like to be at her funeral, but he didn't remember the date. Because in his words, "I had to let go of it." And he was smiling as he said it. Now, my boss is one of the most compassionate, grace-oriented people I have ever met, and I can genuinely believe that he forgave the driver who killed his daughter. And he let go of what happened. Not to forget, but to heal and survive.

For some reason, this idea of forgetting about dates really stuck in my mind. Some of the harder things that have happened in my life are marked by dates, as I'm sure is the same with many people. But isn't that a sort of strange thing to do? Why would we want to commemorate the anniversaries of our dark moments? It would be so much healthier for us to let go. Sure, we might not forget the feelings we had or the surreal memories that form after so many of these unexpected happenings. But to brand them into our years like an ugly tattoo doesn't do us any good. It just decreases the number of days that we allow ourselves to enjoy life and celebrate the good.

So with that, I say goodbye to June 6th, March 2nd, January 20th, August 22nd and basically all of November 2007. I refuse to let these dates be anything but squares on my calendar.

1 comment:

  1. Bay, you're absolutely amazing. I feel completely the same way. I never thought about it this way. I mean, I have heard over and over again the concept of "letting go" but I attached that more to a feeling and or person and not to the date that was burned into my memory. Wow. Thanks for writing this, my very lovely friend.