Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Missing You

I guess I have a complaint to file. You see, it is my opinion that nothing going on in my life is blog worthy. When I first heard about blogs (yes, I head about blogs before I ever actually saw one) my first reaction was "Isn't that sort of like writing a public diary? Why would you want anyone to read that?!  I don't get it."  I guess I don't understand why human beings feel the need to show their lives to the rest of the world. What are you trying to prove?

So, by now you're thinking to yourself, "Devin you are the most hypocritical hypocrite that ever hypocrited." Or something like that. And you know what? You're totally right!! I won't even try to deny it. I guess the real reason I decided to jump on the Blog Bandwagon is that I am forever trying to find ways to stay in touch with the people I care about who are geographically distant from me. These days, most of the people I care about are geographically distant from me, and I just figured I'd provide one more opportunity for my loved ones to keep up with the happenings of my life.

If you know me (which I hope you do because I would really be concerned if you are reading my blog and don't know me... or Abby) then you know that I think having my loved ones far away from me is the emotional equivalent of waking up every morning and smacking my head on a wall; disconcerting and painful.

Mostly what I feel like writing in this teeny little box is "I miss you." Particularly, I would address this to Abba herself and to Peter. Of course, this is somewhat unnecessary because both Peter and Abby hear from me on a daily basis that I do, in fact, miss them. They probably hear it a little too much, and I'm sorry. I guess what I don't say often enough is that I am so thankful for the people I love and I will gladly put up with missing you if it means I get to still keep you around.

Then my thoughts turn to the future (my mom, abby and peter are likely all screaming "DON'T GO THERE DEVIN! FOCUS ON NOW!) and I think gee, I don't want to have a future where I have to miss anyone. And let me tell you, I have spent hours (mostly early in the morning when I can't fall asleep) trying to think of a way to put everyone I love in one place, and you know what? It just isn't going to happen... unless you would all agree to move somewhere with me.... !?!?! So, I am trying to make peace with the fact that I can't have everyone I love all at one time in one place. But let me tell you, brother, it ain't easy.

I know I am rambling now, but I have a point. Kind of. It's times like now when I have just gotten to spend time with people I care about and now they are all far away again when I feel really down in the dumps. All my long distance loves are back where they need to be right now and I stay here and wish I could be with them. But I am also happy. I am happy I get to be with my family, I am happy I get to have some wonderful non-long-distance friends, and I am happy I have such wonderful people to miss.

So that's it, bloggy world. I just poured my guts out to you. I don't know if that is even interesting for anyone to read, but you know what? It's my public diary, and I'll cry if I want to.

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