Monday, November 15, 2010

Not to be a copycat...

...But I too will be using J-May lyrics to preface this blog post.

I am in repair.

I'm not sure how I feel about people pouring out the deepest and most secretive details of their personal lives, but I'd like to touch on something slightly closer to home. As many of you might already know, I had a rough summer due to a relationship that came to a close. The exact details aren't important, but it left me feeling like someone had pushed me off a cliff by surprise.

So as I fell I spent a lot of time feeling bad about/for myself. I'm not really proud of this part - I'd like to say I was one of those girls who got up, brushed herself off and moved on - but that was not the case. I felt broken and confused, and I thought there was "so much to do to set my heart right" (as good ol' John says). I had a lot of time to myself this summer. So I read. And prayed. And cried. And slept. And that about summed up my free time.

BUT! This is not a story to get sympathy, I promise. It's actually a precursor to an exclamation of great thanks. I just spent a weekend with some of the best people I know in the world. The time I spent with them was not only fun and hilarious, it was the best step forward I've taken in 5 months. Every single minute, I was surrounded by friends who have become my family. They inspire me, they make me die laughing, they defend me, they console me. They make me happy. Chances are, if I saw you this weekend, you're one of those people. So thank you. Thank you, thank you! You probably didn't know, but you're what keeps me going.

And then there's those friends that I unfortunately didn't see this weekend, but who are nonetheless vital to my existence. When I get to work this morning, expecting a normal Monday, I see that Deva has posted on the blog! A joyous surprise! And not only that, but she points out the very thing I am thankful for: that some things never change, like our friendship. Sure it has evolved over the years, but deep down, we are still those girls that want so badly for each others' lives to succeed that we're even willing to ignore Spanish class to describe our house layouts to each other (a tough sacrifice). She has been walking along with me this entire journey and without her, I would simply be lost.

Basically what I'm saying is this: It's surely good for me to find my own way in the world, and I am definitely working on that. But it is also surely good to have reunions and reminders too. I am certainly so thankful for these moments.

I'm in repair, I'm not together but I'm getting there.

Thanks for helping me get there.

1 comment:

  1. I want to be the first to quote Tay Tay lyrics...

    Now I'm standing alone.

    Let me pour my personal, most secretive details.

    I was reading this blog and was sad when I read, "I just spent a weekend with some of the best people I know in the world," because I failed to get personal notification that things were going down in Valpo. I am Valpo, damnit! Just wanted to swing by for some, hellos.

    Then as I slightly read more and began to cheer up as I read, "And then there's those friends that I unfortunately didn't see this weekend," I was thinking YES! here is my shout out. And then I went back to my frowny face to realize you were talking about Devin.

    The etched frowny face will take some time to be sanded down and replaced with a smiley one.

    This man is heartbroken. I blame it on Rachel. I'm just gonna wallow in my sorrow and listen to my friends "overly experienced," dramatic, thinks she knows everything about life at 19 because she's had flings with all these Disney channel celebrates, life story via song.