Monday, June 18, 2012

Losing Your iPhone Contacts: A Life Metaphor

Hey, hey, hey! I bet that intriguing title really pulled you in to this post, eh? You're in for a treat. This is going to be one of those great sparkly posts where I take a dull, basically insignificant event from my real life and explode it into a genius analogy for the way life works. It takes someone reaaaally special to do this, I know, I know.

It all started last night when I was messing around on my iPhone and wanted to use the "Reminders" app. "What a great new app that I now have after updating to iOS 5.0.whatever!" I thought to myself, "I can keep track of my To-Do lists here, instead of writing myself a million post-its that inevitably get lost and don't actually help me remember anything."

Little did I know, the iPhone (coy little b-yotch that she is) was thinking, "Uh, yeahhhh NO. You're not gonna be doing that."

So this is sort of how our metaphorical conversation went last night:

iPhone: You wanna use the Reminders app, huh? Well SUCK IT! There's no way to add a new task!
Me: Hush, child. I will just be oh-so-computer savvy and Google search remedies for this predicament.
iPhone: *growling in protest*
Me: See?? Look! All I have to do is delete my iCloud account and the appropriate "+" should show up so I can add tasks to my list. Easy peasy!
iPhone: Hmm. Foiled again by the Apple Discussion Boards. You'd better watch your back. Soon I will exact my revenge on you. MWahahahaha.
Me: *Blissfully unaware of this last comment, adding new tasks to my To-Do list.*

Well, this morning started out like it normally does: Me hating life because I have to get out of  bed ... wait, that's irrelevant. Anyhow, I needed to call my dad at some point this morning and realized...


Me: *Smacking iPhone awake after its evil slumber* WTF have you done with my contacts, jerk?
iPhone: *silence*

"Fiiiiine," I thought. "I'll just go back to the discussion boards again and solve this problem." Unfortunately, there were about 50 suggested solutions, none of which worked for me and my cray-cray phone. At this point, I'm about to give up, when I realize that I can go back to my old texts and manually re-add everyone. Problem solved.

What does this have to do with life, you ask? Well, I realized today that sometimes you have to take the annoying, tedious route through life. There's not always a quick fix for losing all your contacts. Or making it as an artist/singer/firefighter/insert preferred career path here. When you want something in life, we always look first for the time-saving option (which isn't bad, sometimes you DO save a lot of time.) But other times, you just have to shake your fist at the iPhone/institution aka "The Man" and say "FINE. I'll do it the hard way, but goshdarnit I WILL DO IT."

So next time you have a goal in mind (restore contacts/secure financial future/achieve childhood dream/etc.), get after it! It won't be easy, and you might be tempted to give it all up in the process. But once you finally get that final contact entered using the irritatingly small little touchscreen buttons (for example), you'll feel soooo much better about yourself and life in general.

Final words of advice: Follow your heart, don't give up on your dreams, and for goodness' sake, don't get on the bad side of your phone. And don't use iCloud.

Sparlke on, pals.

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