Sunday, September 18, 2011

Arghhh Matey, Take 2.

Hello all! If you're new to Sparlke, Sparkle, or if you didn't read the most recent post, or if you have short-term memory loss, I'm going to tell you right now that this post will probably be very confusing if read out of context. So let me just back up here a second and remind you all that I did indeed promise a blog post about life with specific references to pirates. So here we go, and don't say I didn't warn you.

Lately life has been feeling a tinge anti-climatic. It's been more than a year since graduation, I'm still in Seward at the same job, and I'm beginning to feel like my life really should have started by now. What's the hold up, huh? Have I not paid my dues yet? Does having a glamorous job require several more years of servitude in the lower ranks of employment? Perhaps so. Now, what would a pirate have to say about all of this?

I don't know much about pirates, but I'm assuming that you can't just jump on a ship and declare yourself "Captain." (keyword!) The current Captain would never stand for that. You have to spend some time swabbing the deck and rigging the mast and stuff. (Is that even right? Rigging the mast? If so, I'm very impressed with my intrinsic knowledge of ships.) And as you're doing all these menial tasks, a young pirate should always be NETWORKING. Ahh, yes, one of those buzzwords of college that hardly means anything anymore because so many people have told us to do it that we forget how it's done. But I think it involves getting in good with the first mate, bringing a bottle of rum to the deckhands and even cozying up to the guys in the brig, because you never know when they're going to redeem themselves and remember your kindness and give you a job that pays six figures and a generous Christmas bonus.

So yeah, sucking up seems to be key. But not in an ingenuous way, or the Captain will see right through you and make you "walk the plank." (keyword!) And then you're worse off than when you started - in the ocean, sinking fast because I'm not convinced that too many pirates actually know how to swim. Irony? Aye aye. So how does one little pirate get to the "buried treasure?" (keyword!) AKA, the dream job, family, house, what have you. Frankly, I have no idea. If I did, I'd be doing it, duh. And then my blog posts would have a more now-that-I-have-what-I-want-what-d0-I-do-with-it quality about them. So at least you have that to look forward to!

I think the bottom line is this: No matter what your profession, you're probably going to have to spend some time below deck. Sure, there are people that get handed their dream life on a silver platter right along with their diploma, but I am not one of those people. And I know for a fact that most of the people I know are not that person either. I suppose it's just best to sit tight and work/hope for the best. It's not so bad if you have other pirate friends who are going through the same thing.

Hey, here's a thought! Let's all band together and buy a ship and just sail around for a while and see how that suits us. We can go to tropical islands and hang out on the beach, drink lots of rum and make a regular vacation out of it! A pirate's life for me, right? Great! Meet you at the dock. I call being Captain.

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