This may be hard for some of you to believe, but I'm not always all sparkle, sparkle. I know, I know. This blog has been nothing but pure joy for all of you all the time. (Don't worry, I know I've complained a lot. I do the sarcasm thing. It's happening right now.) Despite my best attempts to be sparkly the past few weeks, it's been muy dificil for me. If you read my previous post, you know that I've been reaching new and unexplored levels of insanity lately. A combination of craziness at work, life decisions galore and my seemingly WORSENING cell reception have me constantly contemplating jumping off my roof. I need to get back to a sparkly place, stat.
It is becoming increasingly apparent that I may be staying in Seward for at least another year. This means I definitely need all the sparkle I can get. Not that I don't love this town for all of the nostalgia it holds in my heart, but sometimes a gal just needs a Target within 20 minutes. Or like, a Starbucks. I know I sound completely shallow but you all know you'd feel the same way. I'm just not a small-town girl. So let me try and find some sparkly qualities about all of this...
-I save money on gas since I can walk to work in 10 minutes.
-The Rivoli is a super cute, 1940's vibe, one-screen movie theater. I feel like if I keep going there enough, I'll meet Ryan Gosling a la The Notebook and we'll live happily ever after.
-We've got brick streets here. They look quite pretty.
Ok, I'm struggling a little. I talked to my dad today and he told me to take the "unfortunately" out of my situation. As in, unfortunately I won't be going to grad school this fall, leaving the rural life, and getting closer to the musuem world. Even though those things were part of my expectations for life, I have to admit I'm still very blessed in the scheme of things. I have a JOB for goodness' sakes! That in itself is a great commodity these days. I am lucky to live near my grandparents, aunt and uncle, and younger cousins. I never saw them that often growing up, and now we get to be a part of each others' lives on a regular basis. And hey, I have my health. (Despite the allergies.) In the end, I should be saying "fortunately" about my life.
I know a lot of people who have been dealing with the post-grad blues. It seems to be one of those things that just comes with the territory. If you're having a day where all you can think of is the unfortunately's of life, try thinking of even the smallest things that are good. Maybe you had a cupcake for lunch. Maybe it's Friday. Maybe you're NOT recovering from a car crash. When you think of it, I bet the pros outweigh the cons. We all experience events in life that throw our expectations out the window, and that's often hard to deal with. I guess we just have to take a second to reassess, take a deep inhale/exhale, and pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. Maybe even buy a pair of boots that have straps to really flesh out the analogy. Or just buy shoes in general! On that note, I'm starting to feel so much sparklier already. :)
Abby... we need to start a support group. So far, I have everyone in my life telling me "don't worry that your school dumped you, you're so _______ that you should have no problem finding a new job." Except I haven't been contacted about anything. The "best" prospects are little 350 person towns out in north central nebraska. I just let myself make all sorts of commitments here in Lincoln (since I thought I'd be teaching here for a while) and the next thing I know, I'm going to be moving to... who knows where. I haven't found any openings that are close enough for me to, say, come back into town once a week to direct the youth choir at my church, which I was supposed to take over. Bye Bye violin students, too.
ReplyDeleteI have an architecture friend who is graduating here in may... I say that between the three of us, we should start our own Lux center with a gallery, our own art, and teaching art classes. Sounds perfect to me... :-)