Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Fashion, Or What You Should Be Wearing This Spring If You Want To Be Popular

Spring has been non-existent in Seward so far this year, but that does not mean spring fashion is going to hold its horses! Oh no. We must press forward toward a brighter, more fashionable future despite the fact that this abysmal weather only makes me want to wear sweatpants and hoodies. However, for those of you that know the fashion calendar, you know that "spring" fashion is really fall fashion. While the general public is just barely thinking about spring dresses and flip-flops in March, designers are already looking ahead to next winter. That's why they call it fashion-FORWARD. At any rate, you may normally go to Style.com to get up to date on the latest trends. But I argue that Sparkle, Sparkle is just as valid, if not more, of an insider source on the fads you shouldn't miss out on. Let's delve.

This girl is clearly making not only a fashion statement, but a philosophical declaration as well. By wearing her cardigan backwards, she defies the normality of button up sweaters and asserts that the opposite of our social standards may very well be considered par for the course, if only we open our minds to the endless possibilities of wearing our clothing improperly. My only question is this: why stop at cardigans? I hope spring 2011 is full of backwards hats, jeans and pumps. So metaphysical.

Just when you thought capes, floppy hats and velveteen pantaloons were so out, Christian Dior proves to us that some trends never go out of style. Whew, what a relief. I was hoping I'd get some more use out of my leatherette blouses.

Now this look really has a lot going for it. It's so accessible, so attainable for the average Joe or Josephine. Just grab your favorite thick-knit sweater, some costume wigs and a glue gun and you've got yourself a DIY project that will take mere minutes to complete. The result? Fashion. Pure fashion.

If someone would have told me last year that furry, rolling suitcases were going to be a must-have for this spring, I probably would have nodded sagely thinking, "Of course. It's about time." What I could not have told you however, was that it would be necessary to pair this timeless accessory with a hairstyle that resembles 1964 on speed. Now that I know this though, you can bet your bottom-dollar I'll be sporting this funky fresh combo as soon as I can get my hair dyed gray.

I'm sure I don't have to remind you of that commonly-said phrase in the fashion world, "Someone's always watching you from within the clothes." What? You've never heard of that phrase? Well, I hate to be so esoteric, but at least you'll get the gist now that you've seen this pretty little ensemble. Yes, those are eyes collaged into her shirt. Now you know why fashion says things like this. And let's not even talk about all of the catchphrases having to do with pink feathers emitting from one's hips. There are just too many to count.

So hopefully this Sparkle, Sparkle guide to spring/fall/arbitrary seasonal fashion will give you some great ideas for how to kick off the season in style. Yes, it's legit. Yes, you'll look amazing. Yes, everyone can pull it off. You're welcome.

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