Sunday, April 22, 2012

Bad, Bad, Bad.

Happy Spring, Sparkly Ones!  I'm hoping that these past few months have brought you all things good.

So, I'm here to bring you some perspective on something that not many people like to talk about: bad stuff. Yep. Negative, horrible, terrible, horrific, unfathomable, nasty, unbearable bad stuff.  Sounds like fun, right!?  

Well, I'm sorry. But here's the deal: it happens. It actually happens quite a lot, unfortunately, and I think we can handle it. Here's why: in my line of work I hear about some not only bad but disgusting things, and as of late, I've been witness to a couple of pretty traumatic events. Now, for confidentiality and legality's sake I'm not really allowed to disclose much about any of these things, which is fine... kind of.  I mean, what's the FIRST rule of trauma? TALK ABOUT IT! Oh, wait. Except if you're a social worker. If you're a social worker you should only talk to other equally traumatized people because that will give you the perspective you need. Sometimes social work ethics are about as effective as a jello sword. (Don't ask... it was just the first comparison that came to mind.)  

I just have to wonder if keeping these things to myself is really helping anything. I always tell my kids at work that they can trust me and come to me with anything, but that they shouldn't hold all the nasty stuff in because nasty stuff is not meant to keep. So, being that I am a fairly self-aware person (and I almost had a nervous break-down in November) I decided to start my own therapy in January and it's been a really great experience. In the words of my therapist: "If you're a therapist you need a therapist." And I do, I really needed a therapist. But sometimes our once a month appointments are not enough in the midst of all the muck and injustices. So! This is where things get... bad. 

And here it is, my perspective on bad: it is awful.  Groundbreaking, right? I know. That's why they pay me the big bucks. But here's something else: it's temporary, and it is the ever-important contrast to greatness, and in that way, I appreciate it. It makes me realize that good is extremely precious.

Now, before you go all "SHUT UP WITH THAT SILVER LINING CRAP, DEVIN!" may I just remind you that I am a professional problem solver, and I need to solve the problem of bad. I am compelled by something I can not label, touch, or diagnose to put an end to miserable feelings everywhere.  I need to rationalize these terrible things because if I can make sense of them, I can solve them. But it's a really, really, really, really hard job because most bad things are not rational, they're the opposite, actually. And on top of that, most people don't react rationally to bad stuff, they react emotionally, and wouldn't you know it? So do I. But I STILL have to solve it. I HAVE TO. Yes, I do realize that I will never fully solve "bad", but I sure as heck (censored for all you PG viewers out there),  can refuse to let bad take over. And here's how:

I can ask for help when I need it, which sometimes is often. Help is badness' kryptonite. The two can not exist for long in the same situation. I want to help you all, too, when the occasion arises. 

 I can try to be a little kinder than I have been, and those of you who know me well know that I am rather, shall we say, honest, in my opinions. You'd also  know that this will be tricky for me because kindness is a lot more difficult for me than sarcasm, but I'll give it a whirl. 

I can think before I act, and I can contribute only prepossessing works of all kinds to you all. (Or at least not careless works.)

Finally, I can remember to tell you how much I appreciate and love you. Without you, badness would surely take over and creep its way into my soul. Thank you, lovely people, for the supporting, joke-making, ice cream-getting, hug-giving, whine-listening, and checking-inning you do so often for me. 

TAKE HOME MESSAGE: Our powers combined = badness getting its tush drop-kicked to...well, I don't know. I can't specify a place because I don't want to wish bad on anyone. But the point is, bad's gonna lose. We win. Game over. 

Thanks for reading. Speak up, dive in, sparkle on.  You rock. 

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