Friday, March 25, 2011

How To Have A Thrilling Family Vacation With The Langes In 10 Easy Steps

Hey-O from Arizona! For the past week, I've been hanging with my fam in Las Vegas, Grand Canyon and Sedona. It's been pretty glorious, so I thought I would give you all a few pointers on how to re-create this experience for yourselves.

Step 1. Choose a spring break locale that is typically warm, but during spring break is actually quite cold. I might suggest the Grand Canyon, where our average temperature this week was 38. And yes, that's degrees fahrenheit. Lovely.

Step 2. Choose another spring break locale that specializes in gambling and naked women. Like Las Vegas! It was all I could do to keep from covering Micah's eyes everywhere we went.

Step 3. When you're in Las Vegas, make sure to get into the elevator with a guy and his lady-friend. It'll make for a couple of hilariously awkward moments as it dawns on you that this is not a family friendly atmosphere.

Step 4. Plan your main hiking in the Grand Canyon the day after it snows. That way the trails will be icy, muddy and downright treacherous. It's fun for everyone!

Step 5. Definitely don't pack for winter weather. Where's the adventure in having proper attire for cold outdoor activities? It's more exciting when you can't feel your face.

Step 6. Make sure Papa Lange sees you EVERY time you go close to the edge of a cliff. This will result in one of the following statements/exclamations (and they never get old):
a. "(Insert Name Here, possibly repeat several times)! You are WAY too close to that edge!"
b. "Walk on the inside of the trail!"
d. "Don't even joke about that. That is too creepy." (Usually follows a pantomime of me throwing myself over the edge of a cliff.)

Step 6. Get my mom to say something in Spanish.

Step 7. Go to an outlet mall and watch my parents have the inevitable how-long-we're-going-to-spend-shopping haggling session. It's fun to watch my mom talk my dad from 1 hour to 2.5, or my dad persuade my mom that 4 hours is going to literally kill him.

Step 8. Bring only one iPod/iPad/iPhone charger for the whole family. It never ceases to amaze me how many Mac products one family can have, and how they always need to be charged at the same time.

Step 9. Let Papa Lange get to sleep before you. You will never feel so much joy as you do when you try to fall asleep to the peaceful sound of bulldozers, aka my father's incessant snoring.

Step 10. Play the car-sickness card as much as possible so you don't have to sit in the back of the van.

See? It's easy to have an unforgettable time in the Southwest! But in all seriousness, I love traveling with my family. My brothers are hilarious, my parents like doing a lot of different things, and we all get along just swell (for the most part!) It's been great having what might be one of the last few family vacations together. I'm a fam gal through and through and I am so thankful to have these trips. Now, if only we could go somewhere legitimately warm...

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