Re-Discovering Home, Or "When Did This Become A Super Target?!"

So I'm back in Champaign! For two years, at least. We'll see where the wind carries me after that. I'm not even starting to think about starting to think about that step of the road. In the meantime, I'm enjoying my first weeks back in my hometown. I love being close to my family. Not only because it means I can go home to mooch off the food at my parents' house, but also because I'll get to see them more than 4 times a year! Hooray! 

I have to say though, I'm finding it a tad strange that the city of Champaign thought it would be OK to change and progress with without me. For example, some stores that were in one place when I last lived here are in totally different places, and some are COMPLETELY GONE. Some have upgraded (i.e. the Super Target of this post's title) and others have just cropped up out of no where! Apparently there is a "Cactus Grill" near my apartment. I have not heard of Cactus Grill, nor did I approve this move-in. (However, they are hiring delivery people, so I suppose there might be a back-up career for me...) Other crazy things are happening here too, like my old grade school adding an entirely new set of swings! What's going on!?

Alright, I'm willing to admit I may be overreacting just a tad. (Just a tad.) But it does feel a little odd to have someone ask me "Do you know where ________ is?" and even give me the area of town, and I can hardly picture it in my mind. I did live here for a solid 14 years before college and then off and on in little chunks since then. Either I have to admit that my brain is turning to slime at a very early age or that, yes, things do change. 

Dang it! I hate admitting that change happens regardless of whether I want it to or not. I'm Type A to the core, and I like to control things. (Surprise anyone?) If I had my druthers, Champaign would be perpetually stuck in 2006 unless I OK'ed any sort of alterations. But I guess the thing about druthers is that you usually can't have them. (Although this may be alright, because if you picture the word "druthers"... well, it's not really visually appealing.) 

Anyhow, now I can tell I'm rambling a little bit. I guess the whole point of this is to say that while I'm so happy to be back in Champaign, it is still a little bit like moving somewhere new, and it takes adjustment. It's not perfect, but nowhere is. The best I can do is make this time beautiful by working hard and enjoying the small moments. Which I suppose is the only thing most of us can do anyway. In the meantime, I'll be dusting off my sparkle from wherever I packed it and looking for a place to hang it in my new apartment... 

Seward, NE: A Case Study in Love-Hate Relationships

I'm nearing the end of my time here in Nebraska and as promised, you're about to join me on the introspective adventure that is recalling the past two years of my life in the rural midwest. Hold on to your bootstraps, kids, these gravel roads are pretty bumpy!

Now, don't worry. I haven't been living THAT far out in the country. We do have paved roads here in Seward, and a lot of other great amenities such as electricity, indoor plumbing, and cable TV. It's all happening, people! 

Oh, I jest. As much as people probably think all of Nebraska is straight-up out of Little House on the Prairie, it's pretty much like everywhere else, except there's fewer people and less crime. In a lot of ways, Nebraska is exactly what you think it is: farms for miles and miles, slower way of life, and a freakish obsession with the Huskers. But there's other stuff going on here too. There's hipsters and minorities and all sorts of stuff you probably didn't think existed here! It's not as backwoods as you might assume. That all being said, I've got pretty mixed feelings about leaving this state.

When I arrived here in 2010 (SO LONG AGO), I was wearing my sludge-colored glasses. I pretty much disliked everything and everyone and didn't really want to be convinced otherwise. I'm not proud of my attitude, but life was kind of topsy-turvy for me at that point. If you'd like the really long version, just go back in the Sparlke, Sparkle archives. At first I just thought I would be here for the summer, then the summer turned into "no more than one year" and then "no more than one year" turned into "DEFINITELY no more than two years"... I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how I was going to get myself out of this place.

But now that I'm about to leave (and going "home!") there are surely some things I'm going to miss. So instead of dwelling on the lack of Starbucks, Targets or decent grocery stores, I'll just touch on some of the things that I think I'll find myself pining away for (occasionally) when I get back to Champaign.

Lower gas usage! As long as I'm staying in Seward, a tank of gas in my trusty Cruiser will last weeks! My drive to work literally lasted less than one song on the radio. Going to Wal-Mart, which required a 3 minute jaunt on the highway, really started to feel taxing. In Seward, you will frequently hear people saying, "Eh, I don't want to go all the way out to Wal-Mart." AKA, I don't want to drive 7 minutes. But it was pretty nice living in a place where everything was within a few minutes.

The Movie Rental Store! And the Rivoli! If there's one place where inflation hasn't seemed to take hold, it's the Movie Rental Store and Seward's charming one-theater Rivoli. At the Movie Rental Store, you can rent 3 movies for 3 days for $3.50! Take that, Blockbuster! And if you're into immediate gratification, take that, Netflix! Catching a flick at the Rivoli costs about $7 if it's not a 3D film, but the concession costs are the real kicker. A medium popcorn and drink can be had for less than $5! Take THAT, every movie theater who thinks that $12 for popcorn is somehow justifiable. (And yes, sometimes I did go to the movie theater to buy popcorn and take it home to watch my own movie.)

The sky! OK, I know that Montana is the self-proclaimed "Big Sky" state, but I think Nebraska could give it a pretty decent run for its money as far as expansive atmosphere goes. When all you can see are fields for miles, the sky somehow seems to reach farther in every direction. And the colors that show up  in the evening are by far the best I've seen. They might not be the cliché beach sunsets that plaster calendar spreads, but the variety and brilliance of color in this huge Nebraska sky is just divine. Not to mention, we get a super long summer twilight here. So while states on the east end of the time zone seem to fade from afternoon to night in a matter of minutes, this region gets to relax in the most wonderful time of day from about 7 - 9:30, where the colors change by the minute and it doesn't get fully dark until 10.

Oh and there are more things I'll miss too... the nostalgia of everything that Seward has been to me through my whole life, everything that is tied up in my family's traditions at the 4th of July and Christmas, the way you can find places in this town where no one else is if you just need to be alone, the people that wave at you as you drive past - even if they don't know you, the old farmers who wear their hats perched right on top of their heads, the deep ties everyone seems to have with the land and the rain (my grandpa has a special calendar just to record each hundredth of precipitation), and the delicious donuts of the Bakery downtown.

One of my favorite things in Seward is this mural, because I think it sums up perfectly everything about this state:

So I'll leave here with mostly fond memories (I won't miss the relentless wind, extreme temperatures, or that claustrophobic small-town feeling). It's been a place where I changed and grew and became more of a real adult. So long Seward, Sparlke on. 

Daily Inspiration

Courtesy of @cheitkamp, I have this sweet little message to pass on today. You know sometimes when you go to an antique mall (What? No one else does that? I'm the only secretly 65-year-old-lady here? OK.) and you're looking at the old-fashionedy Christmas ornaments that have glitter on them, but the glitter is sort of flaking off and not that glittery anymore? Well, friends, that's what will happen to all of us if we don't protect our sparlke like our lives depended on it! We may be getting older, but I'd like to think we're getting shinier too. (And not in a bad T-zone sort of way.) So don't let anyone dull your sparkle. And certainly don't dull your own sparkle. Polish it up, show it off, shine on. 

Losing Your iPhone Contacts: A Life Metaphor

Hey, hey, hey! I bet that intriguing title really pulled you in to this post, eh? You're in for a treat. This is going to be one of those great sparkly posts where I take a dull, basically insignificant event from my real life and explode it into a genius analogy for the way life works. It takes someone reaaaally special to do this, I know, I know.

It all started last night when I was messing around on my iPhone and wanted to use the "Reminders" app. "What a great new app that I now have after updating to iOS 5.0.whatever!" I thought to myself, "I can keep track of my To-Do lists here, instead of writing myself a million post-its that inevitably get lost and don't actually help me remember anything."

Little did I know, the iPhone (coy little b-yotch that she is) was thinking, "Uh, yeahhhh NO. You're not gonna be doing that."

So this is sort of how our metaphorical conversation went last night:

iPhone: You wanna use the Reminders app, huh? Well SUCK IT! There's no way to add a new task!
Me: Hush, child. I will just be oh-so-computer savvy and Google search remedies for this predicament.
iPhone: *growling in protest*
Me: See?? Look! All I have to do is delete my iCloud account and the appropriate "+" should show up so I can add tasks to my list. Easy peasy!
iPhone: Hmm. Foiled again by the Apple Discussion Boards. You'd better watch your back. Soon I will exact my revenge on you. MWahahahaha.
Me: *Blissfully unaware of this last comment, adding new tasks to my To-Do list.*

Well, this morning started out like it normally does: Me hating life because I have to get out of  bed ... wait, that's irrelevant. Anyhow, I needed to call my dad at some point this morning and realized...

ALL OF MY CONTACTS WERE GONE.

Me: *Smacking iPhone awake after its evil slumber* WTF have you done with my contacts, jerk?
iPhone: *silence*

"Fiiiiine," I thought. "I'll just go back to the discussion boards again and solve this problem." Unfortunately, there were about 50 suggested solutions, none of which worked for me and my cray-cray phone. At this point, I'm about to give up, when I realize that I can go back to my old texts and manually re-add everyone. Problem solved.

What does this have to do with life, you ask? Well, I realized today that sometimes you have to take the annoying, tedious route through life. There's not always a quick fix for losing all your contacts. Or making it as an artist/singer/firefighter/insert preferred career path here. When you want something in life, we always look first for the time-saving option (which isn't bad, sometimes you DO save a lot of time.) But other times, you just have to shake your fist at the iPhone/institution aka "The Man" and say "FINE. I'll do it the hard way, but goshdarnit I WILL DO IT."

So next time you have a goal in mind (restore contacts/secure financial future/achieve childhood dream/etc.), get after it! It won't be easy, and you might be tempted to give it all up in the process. But once you finally get that final contact entered using the irritatingly small little touchscreen buttons (for example), you'll feel soooo much better about yourself and life in general.

Final words of advice: Follow your heart, don't give up on your dreams, and for goodness' sake, don't get on the bad side of your phone. And don't use iCloud.

Sparlke on, pals.

The Times They Are A-Changin'...

Yikes. It's been quite some time since I've updated Sparlke, Sparkle. I'm glad to see Deva has done some work since I've been gone... the tables have turned, eh? But here I am again, taking an hour of vacation time from work (I've accumulated almost 40, I can take 1 for no good reason, alright?) to update you with the meaningless meanderings of my mind. (Alliteration for the win!)

As the title of this post may have hinted, the times they ARE a-changin'. Even the blogger platform has changed, and I'm writing this with a little bit of anxiety because I have no idea if this is going to work. Have I mentioned that I don't like change? It makes my head hurt.

I'd better get over it however, because there are a lot of changes coming up for me. Like moving for the 13th time in 6 years. (Yes, I counted in AND out of each dorm room, apartment, etc. Packing is packing and it's always annoying no matter how far you're going.) This time I'm moving to an apartment that I've never even seen, save for a few photos that my mom snapped. The amount of trust I have put in my mother to know whether an apartment will be acceptable for living is astronomical, folks. Seriously, I would leave the job to no other person on this planet. That being said, I'm still a little nervous about the things that don't really show up in pictures... you know, the flaking paint, the grime on the sink, the caulk in the bathroom that desperately needs re-caulking. And I have to admit, I get a little real estate jealous when I see people on facebook in apartments with hardwood floors, fireplaces and crown molding. Oh well, I guess when you're going back to being a full-time student, you can't complain about the details.

And speeeeaking of being a full-time student again, did I mention I'm nervous about that too? As much as I get tired of my job from time to time, I do enjoy the whole "leave it at work" mentality. If I want to watch TV all night, I CAN. And I like making money! (Who would have guessed!) It's nice to be able to spring for a new pair of shoes just because, or like, buy food. I'm not sure these treats will be available for me come August. Well, hopefully the food will be or otherwise I'll be going on an unintentionally severe diet. At any rate, it's going to be an adjustment to get back to the college life without any of the fun parts of the college life. Seems as though when you get older you have to slowly extract from your life all the great stuff about being a young 20-something... staying out late for no good reason, seeing your friends every day, eating an entire bag of cheddar and sour cream chips and not caring at all... good stuff. I'm sure there are probably some good things about being a mid-20-something in grad school. I wish I could bring my friends with me to guarantee my sanity. Guess I'll have to settle for bringing the chips... if I can afford them.

And as for leaving Nebraska? Well that's an emotional hairball that demands its own post. So tune in next time for when I delve deep into the meaning of the "love-hate relationship." You know you're excited.

Sparlke on, pals.

B

Once upon a time at our local DCFS office, there worked a wonderful receptionist. You see, often times the people I talk to on the phone are not so happy. Either they are sad, they are scared or they are just plain annoyed to hear from me. But not this person, no "B", as we will call her, is always happy to hear from me.

I don't know how she does it. I want to be her.

This complete stranger not only goes out of her way to help me, but did so much as to mail me some releases I sent over to be signed weeks previously. Attached was a post-it that had written on it "Smile, Devin." Along with this message was a rainbow and a smiley face sun. I hung the post-it above my desk. (Do you think she knows how frazzled I am? haha)

Often times I feel vulnerable at work, but it's nice to know that people can be kind, and moreover, people can be unnecessarily kind.

I called her and thanked her profusely and she just giggled and said, "That tiny little sun took me a couple minutes. I'm glad you liked it."  I feel like she's my ally, but I don't even know what she looks like.  I don't know how else to thank this stranger, except to write a blog post about her.... and tell her I appreciate her  and her kindness, and send it out into the universe. (If anyone else has any more suggestions that are not creepy, please comment.)

I don't know about you, but I'm going to strive to send a little more "B" like gestures out into the universe.  Kind is in, didn't you know? It's like I tell the kids at work, "You don't have to like someone or even know them to be kind to them."

So, goodnight, dear B, whoever you are.

Excellent Boiled Potatoes.

Jane Austen is my Homegirl.

How does she do it? I've read Pride and Prejudice (only) twice, and am only beginning to dive into Emma, but I can't get enough of Ms. Austen's writing. I feel as though I may be a few years late to the party, but this will not stop me from giving a hearty shout-out to the lady who has become one of my literary heros. 

But in really analyzing what it is about Jane's (and yes we are close enough that I'm allowed to call her by her first name) books that I love so much, I realize that it was Pride and Prejudice  the movie  that actually sparked my love for Jane Austen. Have you ever seen the 2005 version with Kiera Knightly and Co.? You really should. I would literally watch that movie weekly if I had the time, and actually there have been weeks that I have watched it more than once. 

It is a comfort to me. The beautiful score immediately improves my mood, no matter what the mood is. The sun rising over the titles just makes me sigh deeply and I'm gone. I'm taken away, corny as that is, and I'm part of that world. I love the ball scenes when I can imagine myself making an idiot of myself dancing and drinking. I long to be Lizzy and Jane and Charlotte's friend. I so want to be in their club. I want to have sisters that annoy me but for whom I'd also walk miles in the mud to see. I admire Mr. Bennett's calm, sarcastic and then finally sweet mannerisms. I love Mary's secret love for Mr. Collins. I cheer every time Elizabeth "zings" Mr. Darcy at the ball that first time. I cry every time Mr. Bingley proposes to Jane, and I feel relieved when Darcy and Lizzy finally get over themselves and get together. God help me, I even find myself being endeared to that anxious Mrs. Bennett. 

The point is, I can recite this movie front to back, middle to finish, ten ways from Thursday. I know what to expect, I know how it ends, but I keep coming back for more. I also think it's extremely curious that in this case, my obsession is with a story that is told by film, although many people would argue that the book is a great deal different, and probably better. AND it's not even the ORIGINAL movie version. But I don't care. I think it's glorious. You can't help what you like, you know? 

And in my case, you can't help what you adore. 

I think my point here is that I am a huge supporter of whatever it is that you like. If you like a cover of Jason Mraz's cover of "Space Cowboy", do it. Like it. Love it. Whatever, you want, pals. Steve Miller doesn't mind and neither do I. Some things are so great that they need to be redone and revamped and re-shown and remade. It doesn't make the original any less important, or you any less important for loving the later versions. 

Thank you for going along with me on this little rant. I'm going to get back to P&P now. It's almost time for the "white" ball, and I love me some single-shot party scenes. 

Peace. Love. Re-makes.